


rat boy's birthday

by Ollie_Mor



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Happy B-day Remus!, um...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:48:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24920089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ollie_Mor/pseuds/Ollie_Mor
Summary: Happy Birthday, you goblin man.
Kudos: 12





	rat boy's birthday

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is not polished because I started writing this today and wanted it posted today. At a later date, I'll flesh it out. I hope that this is compelling nonetheless. The title is also a WIP. This is a mess, sorry.

" _No! I'm not signing the dumb card!_ "

"But you _have_ to-" Patton paused, deciding he needed to be careful with his phrasing. "Kiddo... you know we do this for everybody's B-days! Now that all those pesky misunderstandings are cleared up, we can all celebrate as a family!"

"But he's not family," Virgil hissed. 

The empath gasped. " _Virgil!_ "

" _Geez,_ Oscar the Grouch, what is your _deal_ today?" Roman groaned.

"No, what is _your_ guys' deal?! It was bad enough with _him!_ " he yelled, pointing at Janus, who was guilty of nothing more at the moment than sipping his tea and making polite conversation with Logan. "Now, you expect me to just...!"

"I, frankly, do not see the problem, Virgil," Logan appended. "Even if you do not feel compelled to share the positive sentiment with Remus, it can't be harmful to, at the very least, leave a small message."

"I don't want to."

"But kiddo-"

"Ugh, why do you have to have this character arc right after I get done with mine-?!"

"There is no issue here, you are generating a problem with a clear solution but refusing to acknowledge it, and I cannot discern why-"

Suddenly, a hush fell over the room, and Virgil's head snapped in Janus' direction. The snake sat with three clenched fists raised, sipping his tea as he gave the emo an unimpressed look. "Let them talk," Virgil growled out.

The serpentine side raised an eyebrow. "What? So you can ignore everything they say with your _biting veracity?_ " Nevertheless, the liar did relent, pushing himself from the table and standing to face the anxious side. When no one else made a move to speak, he continued: "Patton, I think the solution is clear here, we don't need to make him sign the card." The words were directed at the empath, but the snake's eyes were drilling into Virgil. 

He didn't like that look. It told him that Janus knew something, or at least, he thought he knew something. There was nothing to be known, that was for sure.

"Oh..." Patton looked like he wanted to argue, but upon glancing at Virgil, he looked down and bit his lip. "Well, if he really doesn't want to that much... I don't suppose forcing him would be alright."

"Glad we agree. That is why Virgil will be delivering the card."

" _What?!_ " the side in question sputtered.

Logan looked between the two and nodded. "That sounds like an acceptable compromise."

Roman, surprisingly, had nothing to say on the matter. He just stared at Virgil with a slightly displeased expression.

Patton, however, had much to say. " _Janus!_ You just said we shouldn't force Virgil to do something he wasn't comfortable with!"

"I never said that," Janus replied, "I said that we don't _need_ to make him sign the card, not that we shouldn't. Don't twist my words, Patton."

"I'm not giving him the da-"

Patton gave the anxious side a stern look.

"-darn card."

"This is **_completely necessary,_** Virgil. You **_don't_** need to grow up and leave this irksome behaviour behind you."

"You just want everyone to buddy up to Remus because you look less corrupted in comparison," the anxious side shot back without thinking.

"Oh, do lighten up on the heavy-handed judgements, Virgil. You know Remus isn't corrupted, only morally deficient."

"Come now, Virge," Roman finally spoke up. "You don't even need to be nice, all of our messages were backhanded anyway!"

"Except for Patton's," Logan amended, punctuated by a page turn.

"Except for Patton's," Roman repeated.

" _Listen,_ " Virgil started, feeling more and more cornered as the conversation went on, "it's not even a big deal. I just don't wanna sign the stupid card."

"But _why,_ kiddo?"

" _Patton,_ " Janus sighed. 

"No, I wanna know. What's the matter, stormcloud? You know that B-days are special. What's the harm in spreading a little love on this happy day?"

"I agree with Patton's sentiment," Logan remarked. "If it is, quote: _"not even a big deal."_ , then why get so defensive over it?"

"You guys were the ones getting _offensive_ about it."

"What did we even say? How'd we offend you?" Roman asked, befuddled. 

"He **_doesn't_** mean offensive as in aggressive," Janus hummed.

"Ah." The prince nodded. Then, his face twisted. "Wait, how are _we_ aggressive?! You were the one who started yelling!"

"Come on, stormcloud-" 

"Patton, that's unnecessary-" 

"-we're just trying to celebrate-!"

**"Who'd want to celebrate today?!"**

The argument halted at the screeching of a chair. Roman stood up and glared at Virgil. " _That_ was too far," he gritted out.

The anxious side stared at the prince in shock before glancing between all the others. Logan looked nonplussed. Patton's hands had flown up to cover his mouth, and he could see the start of some tears forming. Janus looked... disappointed.

Virgil fled the room. 

"Well..." Logan started, "it is quite fortunate that we are not in some... fictional setting in which the rules of fate would have required Remus to have witnessed that."

"Eloquently put," Janus snarked.

"I... Why can't we all just be a family...?" Patton asked with sorrow.

Roman sighed, slumping back down into his seat. "Family fights, Pat... I'm sure Virge didn't mean it."

"Lie." "Falsehood." The liar and teacher chimed in at the same time.

The empath and prince looked at the two, bothered.

"Ah, I **_wasn't_** referring to the viewpoint from which the words were said," Janus clarified in a frankly confusing way. 

Logan nodded. "That is what I was referring to as well, I apologize for the misconception. It may be factual that Virgil had been caught up in the heat of the moment, but it isn't Roman's truth."

The two more emotional sides looked at least a little soothed by that. 

"I just wish it was easier to get along..."

"Yeah, why does Virgil always-?" the prince cut himself off at Janus and Patton's warning looks. He looked down and frowned. 

Janus returned to his seat, and Patton stared hopelessly at the door Virgil had retreated from. Roman fiddled with his sash, and Logan went back to reading. 

Unnerved by the silence, the prince stood from his seat again. "I'll take the card to Remus," he declared rather unenthusiastically, approaching Patton to retrieve it.

The empath nodded and moved to pull the card from his pocket. Then, he wondered when he would have placed the card in his pocket. And why? He glanced about the room. Did he put it down? It wasn't on the table... not on the ground... not in his hands...

"What's the matter, Padre?"

"Where's the card?" 

Logan glanced up from his book. Upon surveying his surroundings, his eyes widened. "Ah."

Janus scoffed. "It appears Virgil **_didn't_** decide to deliver it himself. How quaint." If he weren't so vexed by what the emo said, he would have had it in himself to be smug about it.


End file.
